The gifts of being Highly Sensitive

“I am very sensitive to the interactions I have with people. Whether it’s a momentary glance in an elevator, or a deep philosophical conversation over dinner, or a brush-by in a café, I feel (sometimes exhaustingly) attuned and affected by the subtle exchanges that pass seemingly benignly between us as human ships.” ~ Alanis Morissette

For as long as I can remember, I knew I was highly sensitive, yet it took me a while for me to embrace my sensitivity as the gift I came to share with the world. Like a superpower, High Sensitivity brings challenges and blessings, and being able to navigate them with less effort and more joy is directly related to the level and quality of my self-care and the choices and practices I daily devote myself to.

Whether you recognize yourself as an HSP ~ a Highly Sensitive Person ~ or whether you identify someone close to you as one as you read along, I hope my written words inspire and broaden your view and understanding of yourself and your loved ones. Let me tell you a little about it.

The notion of highly sensitive people was introduced by author Elaine Aron in 1997 ~ she is an expert in the field and has written several books on the subject. Today, there are a number of different authors and researchers who study and write about this delicate trait some of us are born with. We process everything more deeply ~ we observe and reflect before we act, way more than the majority of people, regardless of our awareness of this depth of sensory-processing. Because we pay more attention to everything around us all the time, it is only natural that we feel tired sooner than everyone else, which is the same as saying we are easily overstimulated, and precisely why we need to take our well-being very seriously.

What does self-care mean in this case? Alone time, silence and being in Nature are simple and easy examples of practices to make a habit of, that will nourish your soul.

How you see and live your sensitivity depends on your way of being in the world ~ young people and those in early stages of development tend to see it as a burden and make unnecessary efforts to fit in and please others, while people at later stages, regardless of their age, have learned to see it as a natural trait, like everything else in life, with its two sides. Some of these people have also chosen to put this tremendous gift in service to the world by offering all kinds of transformational and healing activities to people in general.

According to research, 15 to 20% of the population is highly sensitive and this is true for more than a hundred animal species, not only us humans. In our case, our brains have different responsiveness to stimuli, they are highly reactive, meaning that some parts of it show more activity, just working differently than the brains of other people, and this is scientifically proven. This particularity is what leads some of us to pay attention and notice climate and temperature change, to smell smoke and sense fire sooner, to ask people to adjust the light, lower the music and speak a little softer, and even not to stand a clock ticking during the night or any other time of the day.

Our way of recharging is also different than most people's. We enjoy time alone, we love our connection to Nature, and we are moved by fine scents, sounds, and art ~ all of this is very soothing to our senses and regulation of our nervous system. One important distinction is, High Sensitivity is not the same as Introversion. One can have both traits, of course, and 30% of highly sensitive are actually extroverts, and they are probably the ones who struggle the most, for they are not used to providing themselves alone and downtime, as introverts are.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Another important aspect of this trait is related to the natural emphasis we give to our emotional responsiveness and our strong empathy towards others. Highly sensitive people have a rich inner life, they are in constant contact with their feelings and emotions, spending a lot of time in self-reflection, effortlessly. That doesn't mean it is easy, we are just more used to sitting with emotions, noticing them and learning from them. We think more deeply, we feel more deeply, and we learn from our experiences. We may act more slowly, yet, when we see a situation similar to a past one, we make decisions much quicker than others, because of our learning abilities and also because of how thoroughly we have reflected upon what we went through before.

Again, how different people deal with their sensitivity depends on how they relate to their self-development. Meditation is a wonderful practice to help us detach and witness all of our thoughts, emotions and shadows, yet, this is not something to be achieved all of a sudden. It takes years of commitment and discipline, so the sooner you begin, the better for you, your family and everyone else you relate with. If you are suffering because of your sensitivity, please know that there are ways to engage in life in different ways. There are practices to help you sustain your well-being and conversations that may change your perspective, the way you see yourself and lead you to vertical growth. A cycle of integral coaching with me will certainly expand your capacities, and you will, eventually, be more at ease with your gift. I speak from experience, I have learned that life can be different, much more joyful and meaningful.

High Sensitivity is real, and you will need to design a life that is compatible with your trait. Reframing the past and healing trauma is crucial for you to thrive.

Highly Sensitive People tune in to other people's moods and feelings, and we also notice subtleties around and inside of us. We are highly empathetic ~ some of us are also empaths ~ and it is easy for us to be in someone else's shoes. This is also why self-care and self-development play a major role in our lives. Too much empathy or compassion may lead to overwhelm, and, sometimes, we pick up energy and suffering that does not belong to us. We need to learn to distinguish what is ours and what is not, as well as keep our spiritual practices and presence in order to be there for others when they need us, in a calming and healing way. Very often, we don't need to do anything for them. It is our presence that makes a difference in the co-regulation of the one in need.

Deepen your way of being

Through the gift of my sensitivity, I was led to the kind of work I offer today. The world we live has made it really challenging for people to embrace their sensitivity, especially for men. Society has been blind to subtleties and dictating ways of being and performing that exclude matters from the heart, depth of meaning and purpose, and all demands relate to how well and how much you fit in to succeed and be accepted.

Whenever you are feeling drained or overwhelmed by so many stimuli from the outside world, from your friends or society in general, it is perfectly all right to retire yourself from all of it. This is about being able to pause, to reconnect to your most inner self and light ~ your essence ~ so that you can function at your optimum, to the benefit of all, you and those around you.

Inspiration for Growth and Self Awareness

Here you will find different resources to help you enhance your awareness around sensitivity, regardless if yours or your loved ones', so that your relationship with yourself and others becomes healthier ~ as you keep your practices, especially around self-care, your high sensitivity becomes the gift it is meant to be.

My invitation to you here is simple: pause, breathe, and enjoy some of what I have curated for you. All the practices speak dearly to my heart, soul, and spirit. After each of them, you will find questions for self-reflection.

Walk in Nature

If you do not have the habit of walking in Nature, take some time every other day, in the morning or late afternoon before dark, to go out into the natural environment. It can be a park, a beach, or just a simple path with many trees and flowers, where you can take your shoes off and simply feel the touch of your feet on the ground, the rocks, the sand, and even the water. Walk very slowly, step by step, as if meditating, in silence, for at least 15 to 20 minutes.

Then, choose a spot to sit and contemplate what you found most beautiful on the way, for as long as you like. Then make a list of three things you are grateful for, because of your high sensitivity. As you get home, write them down in your journal and notice as the days go by, if keeping this practice is making a difference in your days. Write about this too.

A Poem by David Whyte | Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone, no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark where the night has eyes to recognize its own.

There you can be sure you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your home tonight.

The night will give you a horizon further than you can see.

You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn

anything or anyone that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

What have I experienced reading this poem? How did the words of David Whyte impact me? Am I able to retreat from the world and give myself alone time to be with my thoughts and emotions when I need it? How often do I feel drained or overwhelmed because I try to fit in and be like everybody else? In what ways can I envision my sensitivity as a blessing? What will I take forward from contemplating this poem and myself into my days ahead?

A Song by Alanis Morissette | That I would be good

That I would be good, even if I did nothing That I would be good, even if I got the thumbs down That I would be good if I got and stayed sick That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth That I would be great if I was no longer queen That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed That I would be loved even when I was fuming That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity That I would be good Whether with or without you

You can listen to it, here.

In what ways do the lyrics of this song resonate with me? When I read these words out loud, what is the impact in my body? What if I sing along, can I sense any difference? Can I accept the challenges that come with the beautiful gift of my sensitivity? Am I able to explain what this trait is about to my friends and loved ones? To people I work with? What will I take forward from this reflection into my days ahead?

Digging Deeper

If you wish to dig deeper into the subject, I recommend this book, by Elaine Aron ~ she has a number of them, you may browse her other titles and choose what best fits your interest and needs.